Growing Pains
by Roslin Fan
Summary: Set between Rusty walking away from his mother and her late-night phone-call in S3.E4. An evening at home with Sharon and Rusty...


Amy had gotten Corporal Day to recant her confession. Together, they had made the best deal possible for Jackie, and Sharon could finally go home.

She checked the time. Rusty was probably home.

Although she had wanted to go with him, to support him, she recognized a cocoon of her love wasn't the best thing for him this time. Rusty was right to want to face his mother alone. She'd been doing this _mothering_ thing long enough to know she would still be needed, that Rusty would want to talk to her, but that it would be in his own time, in his own way.

Visiting hours would be over soon, and she had one of _those_ feelings it hadn't gone well and Rusty had gone home early. She picked up her cell phone and placed an order with their favorite Italian restaurant. Lasagna after the day they'd had was the best comfort she could think of.

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Rusty let her in and offered to help with the bag. His eyes were streaked and his face tearstained. "I've got it, honey," she said.

He shrugged and let her pass, following her into the kitchen. "Smells good."

She pulled the entrees out of the bag and reached into the cabinet for two dishes. "Good. I hope you're hungry."

She peeled off the plastic covers and carefully served the lasagnas onto their plates. He watched. "You're so neat, Sharon. I would just dig right into the package. Not even bother with a plate."

She nodded, smiling slightly. "This way makes me feel like I've done more than simply pick up dinner." She shrugged. "It's psychological."

"You worked your ass off-" At her sharp look, he said, "Sorry, your _butt_ off to pay for it. I think that's something."

She handed him his dish before grabbing hers, and they went into the dining room.

They ate in somewhat awkward silence. The topic she most wanted to discuss was off the table until he brought it up, and she could see he was actively _not_ bringing it up. As bad as Daniel Dunn had been, this, whatever this was, was much worse, and she braced herself for it.

"Were you able to arrest your suspect?"

She swallowed the bit of lasagna in her mouth. "Yes and no."

He looked puzzled.

"The woman who confessed had lied to us." She sighed. "She wanted so badly to be the one who had killed him that she was eager to confess. Twice. But we caught the actual killer and made our arrest."

"Oh."

They continued eating. She could see he was deep in thought.

"It's like when I used to fantasize about beating up my mom's boyfriend long before I actually did."

She could feel the lump forming in her throat. She nodded. "Sometimes when people are hurt so badly, it feels better to imagine hurting those who've harmed them."

"Then why don't I think about my mom like that?"

"Because you love her."

He focused on his nearly empty plate as he spoke. "It didn't go well. At all."

She placed her hand on his shoulder. "I'm sorry."

He looked up. Fresh tears formed around his eyes. "Me too." He took another bite, but his heart clearly wasn't in it anymore, and he swallowed it down like it was a chore. "I stood my ground, though."

She nodded. "I want you to know how proud I am of you."

"There's that." He sighed. "Now I remember why I had to get away from her sometimes, Sharon." He shuddered. She wasn't sure if it was from old memories or the fresh ones. "She blamed me. For everything."

She reached out to him. "Honey-"

"I know it's not true. She started screwing up her life long before I came along. It was what Dr. Joe would say - guilting me into enabling."

She nodded and willed back the tears as best she could. "I'm so very glad you understand, and I know it still hurts."

He stood up and hugged her. "Thanks for dinner, Sharon. For listening." He released her. "I'm gonna study. Take my mind off...some of this."

She ruffled his hair. "Sounds good. I'll join you in a bit."

She quickly cleared the table and loaded the dishwasher. He had stood his ground, hopefully setting a precedent for future interactions with his mother. But it wouldn't be easy. Every visit, every _request_ would be increasingly difficult, and Ms. Beck already knew exactly how to manipulate her son.

She sighed. They would just have to take it day by day until Ms. Beck either recovered or left town.

She entered the main room. Rusty was sitting in his usual spot on the sofa. He looked up from his computer screen and smiled a little as she passed in front of him to get to the desk. She opened her computer and got to work.

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"I told her it was against the law."

Sharon looked up from her computer. "What was?"

"Filling that prescription. I told her she lied and that she was asking me to break the law."

She nodded. "I'm glad you did."

"She was trying to break the law too, right?"

"Actually, she had already broken it just by asking you. Just by having a forged prescription."

He nodded. "Why didn't you-"

"That wouldn't have been good for anyone." He looked confused. "Rusty, you wanted to handle it, and I wanted you to have that chance. Andy and I talked about prison and what it would do to your mother." She shook her head. "She was getting through rehab. I didn't want to take away her best opportunity over a mistake. Not like that."

"Oh." His eyes crinkled in thought. "You won't get in trouble for that, will you?"

She smiled sadly. "No, honey. I did my due diligence by informing the rehab center's director. It'll be up to them to investigate and crack down on those forgeries. It's more of a...professional courtesy in my case anyway."

He nodded. "Thanks for trusting me, Sharon. That means a whole lot to me."

He returned his attention to his computer screen. She smiled fondly. He was working so hard; he was determined to finish his course work to graduate, and to improve his score on the SAT. Ms. Beck might not appreciate her son, but Sharon sure did. She refocused on her report. The facts started blurring together. She checked the time. It was well past lights-out. "We should start-"

"I just have a few more problems I'd like to solve." He glanced up at her. "Please."

A kid who pleaded to stay up to study. How could she refuse that? "Okay. But wrap it up." She yawned and went back to the report.

When she heard the vibration - Rusty's phone - it startled her.

He picked it up to answer. It was obviously his mother. He told her what time it was and explained how he would normally be asleep, which was why her _request_ was ridiculous. He sounded so...grown up. She was clearly not in the halfway house and was already drunk. He told her to go back to rehab, and he hung up.

"I'm so sorry."

"Because of who she is? Or because she'll only call back? I don't even know why I care anymore."

"Because she's your mother and you love her. You don't want to lose hope she can recover."

The phone vibrated again. He picked it up and said, "Not tonight," before ignoring the call and turning off his phone. "You know, I don't feel like studying anymore. I'm gonna turn in."

She rose from her chair. "Yes, a good night's sleep will do us both good."

He hugged her. "Should I turn it back on? She's not in a good area."

She held him tight. "That's up to you." She pulled back enough to look him in the eyes. "Do you want me to send a patrol car out to look for her?"

He shook his head. "She got there okay. And sober enough to know what her surroundings were like. She should take responsibility for her actions. This is a good time to start." He released her. "Is it wrong I want her to know how it feels?"

"I don't know. But it's human." She pointed at his heart. "And I know what's in there. Listen to that, okay?"

"I can do that, Sharon." His eyes flashed a glimmer of _her_ Rusty again. "Goodnight. Love you."

"You too."

As she slid into bed, she said a quick prayer for Sharon Beck: that she would arrive at the halfway house safely, that she would recover. As she prayed, her thoughts centered on Rusty. Then she fell into an uneasy sleep.


End file.
